Memories are better than pictures

Parents, I have seen a lot of posts lately about your kids. I admit, it strikes me often as over-sharing. Recently I had a small disagreement with a popular blogger who thought it was okay - even funny - to post her toddler on the toilet. Now wait. I bet our parents all have pictures of us going to the loo right? Maybe. But this was different. This child was on the toilet - screaming and crying in pain! What did her mother do? She snapped a photo to further embarrass the child. After that? Well next she shared this picture of her daughter in pain with the world in a public social media posting. It's been viewed by thousands of people. I commented, as it was public, that I thought she had went a step too far since her child was obviously in pain. But hey, I guess I missed the entertainment aspect of a child in pain! The blogger then directed an entire blog post towards me and how I made her feel bad for 5 minutes. Five minutes? How long did her child sit there on that toilet crying while she snapped pictures?!

Also recently I saw a video shared by a father who was telling his young son that his mother had just died....of a drug overdose. This father had an opportunity to be a great parent here folks. This should have been a private moment between father and son. But no. He had someone filming it. The child was upset. I cannot even find words for how upset that child was. Of course he was upset. He was in pain. His mother is dead. Dead! But instead of privately telling his son, and consoling him, and helping him through this pain; Daddy filmed it and posted it out to the world on social media. This was, he says, to bring awareness to the drug problem we have. Well I have a hint for him - we are all aware. There are other ways besides using your child's most painful and raw moment! Do you think this child wants his true moment of sadness, grief, and pain watched by the world? No, he needed his Daddy to be a Daddy. It was not the time to raise awareness for the public. This is not the way.

At another time I saw a video of a small child who got hit hard, right in the face, by a snowball. I know, I know. How hurt could she be, right? Well the child looked barely two years old. The snowball hit her face and she immediately screamed, grabbed her face and cried. This baby sobbed and screamed in pain. The mother? Oh she was there, filming the entire event. She did not drop her camera and run to console her child; to make sure she was alright. Nope. She just kept the video rolling. Afterwards she shared it on YouTube for the world to see. 

There are many more examples I could share. But I think you've all seen them. I'm even starting to feel badly for all those "my child is crying because..." posts. Sure they're funny.  Your child is crying because she can't find her socks when she is clearly wearing her socks. I get it. I've fallen into the "over sharing" category myself a few times. But as a parent, I have come to realize that not everything needs to be shared with the whole world. When our children are having issues, perhaps the thing to do is help them, rather than take photos?

Our children are the most important thing. We should treat them with love and respect. We should sympathize when they are in pain. Does it matter if we think that pain is imagined? No. No it does not. If they say they're in pain, we need to console them. They're our children! Too many people out there are using their own children, and their pain, their compromising positions even, for entertainment and awareness. We need to all start thinking about this as we go through life. Sure our children do funny stuff, even brilliant stuff. We want to share it! But there are some moments in life where things should be kept private, quiet, calm. There are times when we need to TAKE the opportunity placed before us to show our kids we love them. Drop your cameras sometimes parents. Pick up your child. Kiss and hug her when she is in pain. Take that opportunity! She will remember how much you loved her in that moment. Those memories will last a lifetime in your heart and in hers. The pictures - sure they might last as well. But your children may not be happy to see them later and to learn that thousands have seen them as well. 

Be Blessed,

GypsyMama

An Open Letter to my Daughter's Future Teacher

Dear Teacher,

     I want to apologize in advance for the sassy, back-talking, spoiled little hellion that is my child. I want to thank you for being brave enough to take on such a demanding task. I love my daughter very much. She is beautiful, smart and funny. But let's be honest, that girl is shady as hell and she cannot be trusted. She can go from smiling cherub to screaming banshee in the time it takes you to say "no". She can go from responsible and independent to stuck up your ass in three seconds flat. She can be that child who hangs on you until you feel the need to go hide in the restroom for a half hour. I sincerely  hope you are fully stocked up on anti-anxiety medication before school starts. I fear you're going to need it.

     Teacher, my little girl is not a joiner, so you've got your work cut out for you there in the classroom. In fact, I've failed at getting her to join anything. I came close with soccer last season until she found out they wore green and blue shirts. She refused to play unless her team could wear pink, sparkly shirts and socks with gold glitter thread! How I will get this child to attend school appropriately dressed is beyond me and sadly you will be stuck with her clothing choices. She likes to wear princess dresses and bat-girl capes. She likes to wear heels and thinks lipstick is a daily necessity. I have tried to explain that heels are not good for playing at school. Please don't judge me too harshly if she comes to school in them. She will have an extra set of clothes in her bag.

    I should probably tell you that my girl likes to have snacks and drinks on demand. In fact, she likes to have everything on demand! She is spoiled to the point of no return. Sadly, I realize that this is all my fault and I hope you won't judge me too harshly on that either. I plead insanity on that one! I also apologize to you and the other students for each story, song, rhyme or word that my daughter shares which might be inappropriate for her age group. I am not sure why she seems to be obsessed with talking about poop right now. But you've been warned. I've been told she has a vast vocabulary but sometimes she simply has the mouth of a sailor. Oh, have I mentioned that school is right during her normal nap time? Yes, well good luck with that! In fact, have you seen the movie Gremlins? Remember what happens when those critters get wet? That's a pretty accurate description of my little angel when she doesn't have a nap. I suggest getting a catchers mitt and face-mask to keep in the classroom!

     Teacher, my little angel doesn't like to eat most foods. In fact, there is nothing on the school lunch menu that she will eat. I assure you that when she sees those trays of food she will be making faux vomit noises for the next few hours. I apologize about that as well. I will do my best to send her lunch items that she deems worthy of eating. But I will not blame you if she comes home hungry as I know the struggle is real. Please don't judge me if you see her lunch box packed with Slim Jim's and Cheetos. Believe me, it is simply not worth the fight.

   

 When she was younger I worried about her starting school. What if the other kids were mean to her? Would they hit or bite or yell at her? Now that the time is here, my worries have changed. I sincerely hope that she isn't a bully. I hope she does not cuss or hit or bite. But again, she's a shady little thug at times so nothing would surprise me. By the way, she has informed me that she doesn't really think school is going to be her "thing". She says that she already knows everything necessary and that she is never going to college anyhow. I'm hoping the activities are enough to keep her busy and interested. But I'll understand if you tell me that she spent the entire class time singing Taylor Swift songs in the corner. You might go ahead and move a chair to the corner in advance. By the way, she says that she is "hella good" at singing!

     Teacher, you are a brave and loving person - of that I am sure. I know you've probably seen it all during your years teaching little ones. Let me assure you that I love kids and I love my daughter more than anything. But I also know that she is a handful. I do not know how much money you make a day. But if it's anything less than say around $1,000 per day, you're not getting paid enough to keep up with this one! I'm her mother and there are days when I hide out in the restroom. But she is my own precious little angel and I'll cry when I hand her over to you on that first day. Know that most of those tears will be because I'm not ready to let her go....and a few of them will be for you.

Good Luck (you will need it),

Kendall's Mommy

Yes, I'm THAT Mom with THAT House

My friends and family know that my house is kept much differently than theirs. You see, I am that Mom, and this is that house. At my house, it is pretty much anything goes. Don't visit if you don't like pets. We have a house full and often foster more. We have plenty of dogs, a cat, fish, and even a pet dragon! Dog hair is everywhere. (Don't wear black. It's kind of an unwritten rule.) Pets may come and go, but the pet hair is a constant!

My house is always messy; always disorganized. We do arts and crafts projects on the living room and kitchen tables. My floors are rarely clean. We sweep. We mop. But oh we mess! At any given time you are likely to find these things on our floors: glitter, glue, paint, play doh, flubber/slime, dog pee (yeah it happens), stickers, nail polish, beads, jewels, flower petals, etc. This is normal in our home. We don't mind. We love glitter. I joke that my daughter grows glitter in her scalp. No matter how much her hair gets washed, her scalp always glitters! Go figure!

We make jewelry. We make artwork. We have made our own play dough, flubber, glitter glue, bird houses, bird feeders, and kitty condos. We make all sorts of things that others would never even think about making. We even make our own laundry detergent. Oh you might also find the floor a bit gritty with salt and sugar as we often make bath salts and sugar scrubs in the kitchen. That does tend to get a bit messy:) When my daughter can't think of a good project, she has a go-to project that she loves. She likes to get empty jars and paint them. Sometimes she fills them with water and glitter and beads and calls them snow globes!

The thing is, I had my daughter at an older age. I was well into my 43rd year when she was born. She is my miracle, my lifetime achievement! She is terribly spoiled with things.  We have a house full of toys that rarely get played with. But we definitely use our arts and crafts supplies. We are always doing some sort of project. We save all sorts of things that could be used in crafts! What you throw away we will try to find a way to make useful. Really, doesn't paint and glitter make everything nicer?

Other kids know that when they visit our house, there will be some sort of project offered. Sometimes the kids just come up with their own projects. Sometimes I have things ready for them when they arrive. My own daughter spends most of her home time sitting at that little table in the living room with her crafts. She is four. She loves it! When other kids come over I often throw a big old shirt on them, point them to the crafts area and let them have at it. They all love it. Kids are able to do things in my house that their own parents might not allow due to the mess factor. Not much is off limits in our house...even that 10,000 bead set that promises to be headache inducing for all parents!

I realize that most other Moms spend a lot of time cleaning their houses. Many of you would cringe at walking into our disorganized, glittery, gritty mess of a home. But as I mentioned, I'm an older Mom. I don't have time to clean the house when I could be creating some art with my baby girl! After working all day, the last thing I want to do is spend a few hours cleaning the house. Especially when I could spend that time making play doh critters or painting a cardboard box to look like a rocket ship! When my daughter grows up I don't think she will look back and say "our house was always so messy". No, I really think she will have such great memories of all the things we did, the things we made, in that house. I don't want her to ever think that I would rather clean than spend time with her. When we do clean up, I try to make it fun for her as well. She likes cleaning with me when we can talk and sing and make it into a game. We do have to clean up our art supplies quite often or they would take over the house! We do have to sweep away a layer of glitter and sugar every few days. But by and large, we don't worry too much over this house or how it looks.

We have fun. We have love. We are making memories here! What's a little mess?